Are you in Or Want to Enter Into New Relationship? Then This Guide is For You

1. Listen!

Everybody has the need to be listened to and fully understood.

Sometimes mirroring or simply repeating what your spouse has said, is enough to let him or her know that you have been listening. For example, say something like, "I understand you're upset because I didn't take out the rubbish." Or "I realise that you want to talk about what happened at work today." Provide evidence that you are paying attention to your partner's concerns

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2. Set aside regular couple time

Early on in a relationship couples talk as friends, they do fun things, but over time, those ways of connecting change. Work, family, financial problems, all have a way of taking over daily life and eroding the sense of fun that brought you two together in the first place. Bring the fun back - even if you have to book it into the calendar once every week. Sharing a physical activity, like a bike ride or a walk in the park, is especially good for lifting your spirits, along with your heart rate.

Activities like going out for an intimate dinner, staying at home and playing music from your younger days, or watching a favourite film will help both of you to remember why you chose each other. If money is in short supply, do babysitting swaps with a friend and plan a picnic in the park. There are 168 hours in a week: make a commitment to devote at least two of those hours to your relationship.

3. Don't throw things

Of course, you and your partner are not going to agree about everything, but in expressing disagreement to your partner, playground rules apply - no insults, name-calling or throwing things. If you disagree, do it in a civil way. Don't make the other person wrong, don't say he's stupid. Instead, say: "You think we ought to do this. I have another thought about it.'"

If your disagreement seems to be escalating, call a mutually agreed upon time-out, and make a plan to continue the discussion after a cooling-off period. Keeping things on a calm, even keel is better for your blood pressure and your relationship.

4. Turn up the heat

If your sex life is diminishing or you're not having sex as often as one partner in the relationship would like, then getting your sex life back on track may be a priority.

Think about your partner as someone you desire - and someone you want to entice to fall in love with you over and over again. Pay attention to your grooming, be romantic, don't take your partner for granted.

5. Ask for what you want - nicely

If there's something you'd like your spouse to do, talk about it. How is he supposed to know that you wish he would bring home flowers or that a back massage would be a dream come true? Tell him - simply, sweetly and directly. Do not drop obscure hints - this is not a test to see if he or she loves you. It is about giving yourself permission to ask for what you want and requesting it lovingly - without accusations or guilt. If a few weeks go by and still you do not get those roses, have a second conversation.

Seek expert help

Sometimes relationship problems need expert help from a counsellor or services like Relate. Relate offers advice, relationship counselling, sex therapy, workshops, mediation, consultations and support in person,