7 things you need to do to heal after a breakup

The hardest part of any relationship is the breakup, when months and years of struggle has to come to a close, it hurts more than anything. Sometimes, breakups are one-sided, sometimes they’re mutual, but both of them almost hurt the same. A lot of people, myself included, find it nearly impossible to completely heal after a breakup. But I’ve learned my lessons and I have a lot to share about what it takes to properly heal yourself after a breakup. These are the seven things you can do to heal yourself, let’s begin.

7. Cease all communication with your ex

I can’t stress this point enough, this is the first very vital step and your foundation to move on from the past and have a better future without any haunting memories or relapses. Stop all ways of communication with your ex, don’t text them if you suddenly start missing them, fight your urge to talk to them. If you have to, think of all of the bad things, think of why you broke up, do whatever you can to stop yourself from contacting them. This can be a little more difficult for some people if they have a lot of mutual friends, but even that isn’t impossible because I’ve done this myself.

6. Focus on yourself more

When someone goes through a breakup, they slowly start losing touch with themselves and start neglecting themselves, don’t be that person. Breakups happen, they’re a part of life, they’re a life lesson for you to always remember and not make the same mistakes again in your life. So they’re bound to happen, I’ve seen happily married couple who’d been together for more than twenty years instantly break apart and start new lives without each other, it’s okay because you’re not alone so don’t forget yourself in the process.

5. Let it all out

When you go through a breakup, it’s very vital to let all of the emotions out. Don’t keep anything in or it will grow more than you can imagine and you’ll end up exploding with emotions one day, so let it all out. If you have to cry, cry your heart out, if you have to reminisce about the past, reminisce and let it go, if you need to scream, scream your lungs out, just make sure you let all of the emotions out and don’t let anything in.

4. Accept the fact that it’s over

A couple days into the breakup, you’ll sometimes feel as if it’s not over, as if things are just bad and it’ll get better soon, don’t make yourself think like that. Slowly but surely, learn to accept the fact that it’s over and for good reasons too, don’t give yourself false hope and don’t start living a lie.

Acceptance is one of the hardest things to achieve after a breakup but it needs to be done sooner than later. Remember why it ended, if they left you for someone else, you need to accept the fact that you got cheated on because there are bad people in this world and you deserve someone who can cherish you. If it was a mutual breakup (which are very rare), accept the fact that it was for the better of the both of you and it was done to avoid future traumas.

3. Live your life

This is a continuation of not forgetting yourself and paying more attention to yourself. After breaking up with someone, it’s important to not fall too deep into the limbo of sorrow and sadness, it’s important to let the emotions out and then start living your life again. Go out with your friends, be more social, spend time with family, do projects and spend time doing the things you love.

2. Spend time at the gym

This is from personal experience and a lot of my friends have done this too, working out after a breakup is one of the best workouts you’ll experience. You have so much energy and frustration to let go of and nothing could be better than you actually spend that energy on yourself.

You’ll be more motivated because you’ll want to get back to normal and also be a better and healthier person while you’re at it. I went to the gym for three months straight after my ex cheated on me, because I wanted to look better and to live better, that was one of the best things I could do to myself because I was happier in the end. When you work out, your body releases a lot of hormones that actually make you happy, so do it, go hit the gym!

1. Look ahead

You broke up, it’s over, there’s no point in rekindling that fire because it’ll be a failed relationship again, look forward and look towards the future. Your ex is your ex for a reason and it needs to stay that way, in the past, your ex shouldn’t have anything to do with your future, they shouldn’t be a part of your future in any way because you won’t be able to be completely happy with them being in it, we always end up resenting people in the end because we are all human and we aren’t perfect and even the best of us can fail at it. Look for someone who’s more compatible, remember the reasons why you broke up and make sure the next person you date doesn’t have anything similar with your ex. It’s your life and only you have the power to take it forward, don’t stay in the past because you’ll find nothing but regret there.