Ten ways to build trust in a relationship

Love, respect and trust all go together. Even if one of the links is missing, the whole thing falls apart. The thing about trust is that; it needs to be earned. You can’t expect someone to just hand it over to you. Some of us are very reluctant to place our trust in people, either as a virtue of our personality or past experiences that have driven us to this point. A healthy relationship is built on trust and cannot thrive without it. It is the most satisfying feeling to know that you have someone’s trust. They choose to let you in on things no one else knows of.

To know this feeling of content, one must adopt a few conducts such as the following:

1. Be open

Whatever it is that goes on in your life; let your partner know about it. Don’t keep secrets. Even if there is something you can’t tell them presently, but might do so when you’re ready, make sure they know. Withholding something only creates doubts. Doubts lead to trust issues.

Be open about your relationship with your family, friends, co-workers etc. especially when it involves people from the opposite gender. Since jealousy takes the better of us, this is something not to be taken lightly.

2. Your words shouldn’t contradict your actions

You definitely don’t want to come off as a hypocrite by saying something and then doing the exact opposite of it. Always do what you say.

3. Be honest

Lying doesn’t get you anywhere. You might be able to get away with for a while, but it will eventually catch up to you. But then it might be too late to come clean. You would’ve pushed them to the point where they won’t be able to believe anything you say. At that point, even truth from you would appear to be a lie. Even when they’re asking for your opinion, say what needs to be said and not what they’d want to hear. If you give them an honest opinion, it’d actually help them. This way they’d always rely on your opinions.

4. Don’t make promises you can’t keep

This is probably something we’ve all done at some point or another. For instance, you make plans and then fail to show up, and in the haste to make it up to them you give them your word to do something which you later realize is unmanageable for you. No matter how much you try to explain it to them, the damage is already done. They might think that you’re lying to them or just making up excuses to avoid seeing you.

5. Keep their secrets secret

There are countless things that we’re only comfortable sharing with our partner. These may include the most intimate details of one’s life. Not only is it indecent to publicize what has been told to you in confidence, you lose your partner’s trust. They start feeling insecure. They might even start feeling suffocated as they might have stuff to tell you, but can’t do so out of fear. Don’t be judgmental either. This again would keep them from saying/doing what they want to, to avoid being judged.

6. Maintain the privacy of your relationship

Whatever happens in your relationship is none of anyone else’s business, and should remain so. If either of you share details that the other person is not on board with, it’s just going create unnecessary problems. The relationship no longer remains as comfortable as it used to be, with the element of insecurity slowly creeping in.

7. Trust your partner

Do for them what you’d like for yourself. Trust them and you can expect them to trust you. Trust doesn’t only have to be in terms of what you’re sharing with each other. It also grows when you trust your partner in their abilities. This helps them gain confidence in themselves and grow as a person. They’d also return you the favour and would create a healthy and supportive relationship.

8. Don’t pay heed to what people have to say

Have faith in your partner to tell you what you need to know so that no matter what you hear from anyone other than them holds no value. This will save you from doubting them. It will also save you from hurting your partner in leading them to believe that you don’t trust them enough.

9. Reassurance is the key!

Never stop making efforts to reassure them about your feelings towards them. This way they’ll never develop doubts, hence no room for insecurities remain, leaving the trust intact.

10. Share your vulnerabilities

Share details about yourself with them in order to gain their trust and they’d also reciprocate. It takes a great deal of courage to share your flaws with someone, and putting yourself in a vulnerable position. This proves to be a huge gesture to gain their trust. Be patient. Remember that trust can’t be earned over night. Every one of us is trying to look out for ourselves, hence don’t trust easily. It is gained one action at a time. Never say anything that you can’t live up to. Leave room for mistakes. Be accepting of each other, and make sure that both of you can be open with each other. Learn to trust and let go of the little things and you’ll do just fine.