8 signs you’re in a sincere relationship

In my humble opinion, one of the few things of paramount importance in any man’s character include sincerity. Not just to people, but to your chosen career, your goals, the zeal with which you endeavour to achieve those goals, your ethics, your family, and basically everything of import you set yourself out to do. There is little purpose in doing things halfway. Similarly, you can’t play both sides. Sincerity is not coloured in shades of grey. It is the key to building healthy, lasting and trustworthy relationships. And when your sincerity and devotion are reciprocated, it makes all the effort that goes into a relationship worthwhile. So, without further ceremony, let me introduce you to the 8 signs that confirm you are in a sincere relationship.

1. Good communication

This is one of the most talked about things for any relationship, and yet, it is still sadly lacking in several relationships that we know or are a part of. If there could be one cardinal rule for a relationship, it would be communication. Whether it has been six months to your relationship or 15 years, communication is a major aspect of what keeps the relationship alive and kicking. When people stop communicating, relationships grow stagnant, and gradually die. They say assumptions are the termites of relationships. They’re right. In a sincere relationship, partners don’t continuously assume. Sure, with time people develop their own silent methods of communication, not unlike familiar body language, but your partner’s insight does not always extend to the inner workings of your mind, and sincere couples know that it is always healthier to express and ask. I feel it prudent to quote Dostoyevsky here; “Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”

2. You empower each other

Sincere couples respect each other. They don’t pull each other down. Many people often tend to give backhanded compliments to their partners, in an endeavour to change them. This is not the sign of a sincere relationship. Sincere couples recognise their partners’ gifts and abilities, and support and inspire them to achieve. You know your partner is sincere when their compliments are genuine, they’re words are encouraging, and their motive is pure.

3. Honesty

People in sincere relationships are honest and open with each other. They don’t play mind games. They don’t say one thing and mean the other. They don’t make promises they can’t keep. They don’t say that he/she is just a friend, when it is subconsciously more than that. They don’t tell little white lies, because it is hardly ever a little white lie. If you’re having to lie about it, you may have to rethink your reasons for doing so. Not to mention your relationship. But sincere couples also understand that brutal honesty isn’t always the key. Sometimes, saying those hard truths gently is what honesty in a sincere relationship is all about. Sincere couples place a high value on honesty and trust. They understand that lying will only weaken the bond they share.

4. They have their priorities right

Does he say he’ll call, and he doesn’t? Does she say she’ll make plans to meet once she’s done with work, but instead chooses to go out with colleagues for a drink? Does he promise to make more time for your relationship, but never pulls through? Sincere couples understand that fulfilling commitments and making their partners a priority is a major determining factor to a lasting relationship. Sure, “she’ll understand”, but taking that fact for granted is what wrecks relationships. You are with your partner because you chose them, then why make them a convenience rather than a priority?

5. No blame game

Sincere couples argue productively. They don’t lose their temper, and all hell most certainly does not break loose when they do not approve of something in their relationship. Their arguments are healthy, discussing the whys and hows first, and leading up to the solutions. There is no name-calling. Since, even though the fight may be over, the day would be past, but those harsh words would remain in hearts and build up hurt and resentment. Sincere couples first and foremost calm themselves down, refrain from being judgemental, and endeavour to imagine themselves in the other one’s shoes to lead to a better understanding of their perspective.

6. You both want the same things in life

You are two people in an honest relationship. That entails being straightforward about what you two want out of this relationship and life. If what one of you wants is to establish a career and marriage is just not on your cards, then it should go without saying that your partner is not only aware of your feelings but also on the same page. If you never want children, and you are sincere in your relationship, then your partner ought to be apprised of your feelings on the subject. Sincere couples have all their cards on the table, they don’t bluff each other, and they most certainly don’t mislead their partners.

7. Your relationship comes first

This does not mean placing your partner up on a pedestal and catering to their every whim. Nor does it mean putting yourself last all the time to the point of letting yourself face neglect at your own hands. It simply means being realistic and realising that many times, you shall have to choose between your relationship and some other aspect of your life. But sincerity to your relationship means that often in life, we would be given the opportunity to compromise on our personal needs to allow our relationship to remain congenial and operative. The key, I have always felt, lies in perceiving these situations for what they are, and choosing to put our relationship above all else. And when you are truly faithful and sincere with your relationship, you understand that it more often than not, deserves to be given precedence.

8. Your life is better with them in it

This is rather simple. When someone makes you a better person by being in your life, that is when you know what you have is sincere and genuine. If your partner is a fundamentally honest person, then he/she would most likely have a positive influence on your life; their honesty may rub off on you. But above all, when a person makes you so wholly and profoundly happy, then you know that what you two share is unaffected, sincere and free from illusions.