Fifteen Ways to Know It’s Time to Break Up

The road to a fulfilling, enduring relationship is almost always littered with a few attempts that turned out to be unfulfilling and unenduring. That’s what dating is all about—finding out if two people have the qualities and compatibility to sustain a relationship over the long haul.

Sometimes you know for sure when it’s time to break up. But other times you’re not so sure. Should you hang in there and give it a chance? Or should you move on so you don’t squander precious time and energy? Here are 15 indicators that, yes, it’s time to move on and seek better prospects:

1. Questions keep popping up in your head. It’s natural and healthy to evaluate a relationship at critical steps, but don’t ignore those nagging concerns that are trying to tell you something.

2. You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling way too soon. If you don’t feel consistent sparks and fireworks while dating, it’s a sure sign the chemistry just isn’t there.

3. The people closest to you express concern. If several people sound the alarm about your relationship, it’s wise to at least take it seriously.

4. Mistrust has crept in. Trust is the glue that holds couples together. If you have legitimate reason to doubt your partner’s trustworthiness, you can be sure more trouble is coming.

5. You wonder about your partner’s emotional health. If your dating partner is very self-absorbed, paranoid, overly defensive, easily angered, or anything else that indicates an emotional health deficit, it’s best to move on.

6. You’ve realized the two of you have missions in life that don’t mesh. Sometimes two good people simply have goals and ambitions that don’t complement each other’s.

7. The two of you differ on important aspects of life. If you have significantly different perspectives on social issues, religion, politics, parenting, environmentalism, and use of finances, it’s best to find a partner whose convictions more closely align with your own.

8. Your partner is holding too tightly to the past. Take note if the other person talks often about his ex, relives the glory days of past achievements, or is held back by old friends. Thriving relationships live in the present and plan for the future.

9. Your communication is strained or superficial. If you and your partner struggle to have open, heartfelt communication, the relationship will surely suffer.

10. You can’t resolve conflicts. In solid relationships, two people learn to manage their conflicts thoroughly and efficiently so that harmony prevails most of the time. Relationships fall apart when conflicts don’t get resolved.

11. Your interests don’t interest each other. If you have five or six major interests, it’s a good idea to find someone who shares two or three of them. The more hobbies and activities you both enjoy, the stronger your relationship will be.

12. You don’t feel free to be yourself. No relationship is going to reach it’s potential unless both partners are authentic. You will feel stifled and suffocated if you cannot consistently express your true self.

13. The pet peeves have piled up. The way people live day in and day out (punctuality, grooming, personal habits) can be no problem or a big problem. If it’s the latter for you, don’t ignore the annoyances.

14. You don’t feel 100 percent supported. If you notice that the person you’re with shows little regard for your ambitions and consistently displays a me-first attitude, you’re probably in the presence of someone more selfish than selfless.

15. You notice wandering eyes. It’s natural to admire attractive people, but if you or your partner frequently “check out” others, it may be because you feel something significant is lacking in your current relationship.